Oh, You Make Children’s Books?: How to Answer Those Questions About Kid Lit from the Fam

As a children's author, I hear this all the time, but more frequently around the holidays and especially from family members. Writers and artists get asked this question and more and we aren’t sure how to respond. So, here are some of the scenarios we kid lit artists get and the potential responses you can use.

• Don’t you want to write “real” books?

I get this more from self-proclaimed non-readers, which is odd in itself. But my typical responses are:

SHOCK FACTOR

“Gosh no! Why would I want to do that?” – this is followed by a look of horror, as though they’ve asked me to skydive into an active volcano while blindfolded.

SWEET AND HONEST

“I love kid’s books and nothing else could make me happier.” – Big smile, even when they obviously don’t get it.

SORRY MY MOUTH IS FULL, SO I CAN’T SPEAK

“Mrph mble flrp…” - Pumpkin pie or hors d’oeuvres are great tools.

• Oh, I’ve always wanted to write a picture book. Do you think we could collaborate/you could be my illustrator?

Obviously, I’m only an author, but I bet illustrators get this even more than authors. Possible responses:

SHOCK FACTOR

“Here are my fees (Illustor’s) and did you know a picture book can take two years MINIMUM to produce? Also, I have about five WIPs right now and have no time.”

SWEET AND HONEST

“I started out with just an idea too. You should write your story and if you are serious about traditional publishing, look into the SCBWI. I have too much going on currently to collaborate but I’m happy to point you to some great blogs/conferences/craft books you may like.”

*Here is where you see if they are truly interested in a long game or just ‘always thought it would be fun/easy.’*

SORRY MY MOUTH IS FULL, SO I CAN’T SPEAK

“Hmrph bing mblp…” - That extra roll was just calling my name…

• Why don’t you just self-publish? You could have your book out in a few hours.

I don’t think people realize that it isn’t quite as easy as they believe to self-publish picture books. Possible responses:

SHOCK FACTOR

“You know when you self-publish, and do it well, you have to hire and pay an illustrator (if you are the author only), be the final editor or hire an editor, be your own sales person, marketer, art director, warehouse, distributor and it will be exponentially harder to get your books into chain stores and even indie stores still have to know you exist in order to buy your book. This takes a ton of time away from my creative time.”
-        At this point most people have stopped listening. But self-publishing, especially for picture books that need quality art, is WORK and it isn’t for everyone.

SWEET AND HONEST

“I never wanted the sole responsibility of wearing all the hats a self-published author must wear. Plus, I was always scared that maybe my writing wasn’t as good as I thought it was. By getting through the many, many obstacles in traditional publishing, and working with professionals along the way, I know my work will be the best it can be.”
-        Again, sometimes they stop listening. Not everyone gets my passion for kid lit. And that is OKAY. I don’t always get their passion for cross stitch, hockey, that popular tv show they keep talking about.

SORRY MY MOUTH IS FULL, SO I CAN’T SPEAK

“Worlm rmbl brmpth…” - This method may lead to a shocking belly ache. But those cookies were worth it…

• So, you sold a picture book. When are you going to quit your day job?

The only response:

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA….*BIG BREATH* AHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! Oh, oh wait. You were serious?”

It is okay to be awkward and not sure how to answer. Some people are easy to talk to while others make you feel like you are under a spotlight.

Many of us artists are introverts and don’t want to talk about ourselves and our art. Others wave their nerd flag proudly.

Even if you don’t have a book out yet, if you want to talk about your art, your path, and your struggles, then go for it. If you want to avoid it, then play with the dog/cat/baby so you have an excuse for being distracted while others bombard each other with questions.

You can always offer to wash the dishes when you need to run away. Most relatives won’t follow.

Any other great responses to common questions?  Please keep if PG. We write for kids, you know.